Sunday, May 26, 2013

We Are Changed

I have thought about a million times what my first blog post would be since our family lived through May 20, 2013--the day that has changed every single thing I thought I knew about our lives and our faith. I have decided to stop waiting for the perfect words--but to just open my heart to anyone who wants to read. The story is long and doesn't just begin that Monday morning (or even that month), and I'll get to that later.

For right now, I want to reflect on our evening. We had the privilege of going to church, and I do mean PRIVILEGE! We were just so overjoyed to be there, to see our South OKC Campus friends on the Host Team and staff. Never before have we truly appreciated the simple gift of being able to go to church and worship God. Earlier this week, Keagan asked, "Since we don't have a house anymore, will we still go to church?" We looked at each other with tearful smiles and told him YES, we will go to church because we can't wait to go tell God Thank You for rescuing us!

We sang a song that we have sung so many times before, but until tonight has never meant what it does to us. "Never once did we ever walk alone. Never once did You leave us on our own. You are faithful, God, You are faithful. Every step we are breathing in Your grace. Ever more we'll be breathing out Your praise. You are faithful, God, You are faithful." 

This may sound really crazy to some, but we feel blessed to have had this happen to us. Blessed? Why??

Because now we can stand and sing those lyrics, KNOWING what they mean. We walk around with our children, understanding what a MIRACLE life is. We can look into each other's eyes and KNOW more now than ever that nothing on this planet can tear our marriage apart. We wake up and hear our 2 year old's bare feet smacking the linoleum floor and we smile, even though it's 6:15 in the morning and he should still be sleeping!

We feel sadness, believe it or not, for those who cannot see life in this way like we can now. We certainly never imagined that God would reveal Himself to us in THIS way, but we rejoice over it because we know Him more deeply now, more richly. When I woke up Monday morning, He was my Savior. I loved Him then and wanted to live for Him. But today--today He is my everything.

Of course, we are sad that our world has been rocked, literally uprooted. I am not grinning constantly, I promise! One part of the day is bad--sometimes very bad, but it doesn't stay that way. Before I know it, He has done yet another miracle to wring the praise from my heart. We grieve over what we have lost. We are reeling still because the tangible evidence of our family's life together is...gone. But each time we visit and stand on the fresh dirt, each time we walk the street where we would pull our 2 year old in the wagon behind our bikes, as we stand on the planks left of the back deck where we had water gun fights--we walk away a little bit stronger.

There is so much more to share. Details that are too unbelievable not to share. Later. For now, this is where we are and we want to thank every last one of you who has helped us in any way. You have prayed for us, you have given to us, you have served us. Thank you. He certainly did see it, and you will be blessed for it.
Peace of Christ to you,

5 comments:

  1. Thank-you for opening your thoughts to us who can't really imagine what you thinking about. Praise the Lord for all the good He has done in your lives!

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  2. So many prayers surround you, and a mighty, gracious God is carrying you. Thank you for sharing this. <3

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  3. Cara. I cannot imagine what you and your family have been through but to read your words that have found positives out of devestation makes me want to appreciate all the things I normally take for granted in our family and home. Look after yourselves and I look forward to reading more when you find the energy.

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    1. Thank you so much. I wish I had more time to write now, but I will. Soon. :)

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  4. Cara,
    After we left worship Saturday night at the NW campus we stopped at Wal-Mart. While standing in the long lines we talked about our plans for the next day to go see Where Was God? We wondered if we were "ready". My hubby was concerned mostly about me. I don't cry nearly as much as I did, but this last week when he was out of state I went through the last tub of sentimental things that didn't survive, so I had a couple of what I call "crybaby" days. Anyway, as we were talking about the movie, I looked down and saw the Oklahoman and the headline "It changes you" right there staring up at me. This is what we tell people ALL the time. They just don't get it. They want us to snap back. Move on. And we tell them. We won't. We are not the same. Not only is our stuff gone, the old people are gone. But, in a good way. God has taught us SO many life lessons from this experience that we could not get in any other way. People look at me funny when I tell them that we are grateful for every single minute of it. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Thank you for your words! As I came to read your first thoughts after the tornado, I immediately started to cry. YOU get it. God bless you and your family! I hope we get to meet and hug! Soon!! We will be there at NW a lot, our son-in-law is on staff as Host Team Coordinator. I will look for you! And I will be sure to bring tissues!!! ;)

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