Monday, September 6, 2010

Playing Catch Up

To catch you up on how things have been going:

Adjusting to Caleb being home was harder than I expected, and I'm not sure why. I knew something was wrong with my emotional state, but I didn't know exactly what. My baby was finally home, so I should've been happy! But instead, I was strangely seized with fear and anxiety, and the only thing that sounded appealing to me was staying in bed all day. I would give Kate food and feed Caleb, and then literally lay around all day. I had no desire to interact with other people, either, which is odd since I'm usually quite social.

Thankfully, some friends helped me realize I was dealing with postpartum depression. Now I'm being treated for it and doing so much better. Things like getting out of the house and interacting with people sound exciting to me once again. Before, I had such anxiety about the things I used to be good at, like taking care of my kids. I was actually afraid of taking care of them--I thought I was incapable of doing so. I didn't resent Caleb or anything, but I know I viewed the responsibility of him more heavily than the simple joy of his presence. Now that I'm better, I can see how off balance I was.

So now, I'm getting back in the swing of things, and I'm enjoying life again.

Caleb is doing good, although we've had some bumps in the road. We've already had him in the ER, for instance. He started having bloody stools a few days ago, and when I called the after hours help line, they said he needed to go right away to the emergency room. We were there ALL night, and didn't find anything out--which was very frustrating. His blood tests came back normal, which was good. Two days later, we had an appointment with his pediatrician (which actually got rescheduled with the fill-in doctor), and we learned that he has a cow's milk protein allergy. That's what caused the blood after I had given him only half an ounce of formula. So he got a prescription for some formula with no cow's milk and something else that merits it to be liquid gold! (That stuff is insanely expensive!)

Someone also forgot to tell Caleb that people sleep at night, not during the day! He's awake all night nearly, making these grunty noises that won't allow me to sleep. I end up sleeping in the living room so I won't hear him as much. But he's still cute, and I think we've decided we'll keep him!

So, other than being nocturnal these days, all is well!

Peace of Christ to you,


  1. Sounds soo familiar. I'm glad you were able to anticipate some of the changes even before your pregnancy ended. I know things with him in the hospital changed things a little. It's amazing that God can use something even as that to show us more of himself and his love for us. Keep pressing on!

  2. I'm glad that you are feeling more on top of things. It's too easy to drown during those first few weeks. Sounds like you have some good friends!