Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The Truth About Boys and Girls

A couple of posts ago, I shared some of my worries/anxieties about this pregnancy--that some of the emotions I've had are hard to categorize or even to explain to someone else...but they were definitely present. It's odd that I feel more anxiety my third pregnancy than I did with my very first one, isn't it? But I feel like the Lord let me see something the other day, and I want to share it:

My first child is a boy.

My second child is a girl.

There are generally only two options on the sex of a baby, right? I mean, my having a third one doesn't create a third gender option!

Keagan defines "son" for me, just as Kate defines "daughter" for me. In my mind, there is no other way for a son of mine to be, look, act, etc., just as there is no other way for a daughter of mine to be, look, act, etc.

So what on earth will another "son" be, look, and act like? What will I expect of him? With Keagan as the firstborn son, there was a delicate balance in letting him be babied, yet expecting him to be a strong boy. With Kate, she was purely the baby girl, the little frilly princess. I remember Matt spoiling her every night, soothing her to sleep on his chest. Keagan had been expected to fall asleep alone in his crib. We knew Kate was spoiled, but it was because she was "our baby girl."

The difference between Keagan and Kate was easy for me because it was only natural to love them differently--equally, of course, but differently. Now, it seems there is no other option...like I'm not completely sure how to love another boy. Do I sound like a lunatic, or what?!

I'll spend the next few weeks trying to decipher the answers to my questions. I feel relief already in just defining and giving shape to my apprehensions because now I'm free to take the next step in preparing my heart for this little guy. I have no doubt that I will love him; don't picture me throwing him out a window or anything! I am a planner and an organizer; I want to have a game plan for everything. And this, obviously, is no different for me.

Peace of Christ to you,

3 comments:

  1. It would be easy to say that your worries are daft but I think every mother must feel something similar when having each of their babies.

    On the first we worry about how we will cope, will we bond...

    On the second, how will we give it as much attention and love, how will the first child cope.

    On the third how will we manage to juggle everything etc.

    I had two girls who were as different as different could be. Then I was pregnant with my boy and panicked. How would I love a boy? I could only "Do" girls! In the end nature has a way of letting us adapt and cope. I'm sure that your three kids will all be very individual, very different and very loved!

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  2. Thanks, Gina. You're so right on what we do with each child! Glad to hear these thoughts are normal!

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  3. haha! I get you! oh how we want to know.........before.......
    but I love that God does that, and we find out anyway. His plan!

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