Sunday, August 16, 2009


"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:18 ESV).

Last night my husband was putting our son to bed, as usual. I had gone out to grab some ice cream for us to sit and enjoy together once the night-nights were all done.

Keagan actually prefers his daddy for tuck-in time. Sometimes I'm invited in for their man prayer, and sometimes I'm not. Most of the time Keagan requests that I just kiss him and leave him and his daddy in the dark. "Shut door, Momma."

Yes sir.

I don't argue really. It's a moment for me to breathe, and I know it's time that he needs with his daddy.

But last night, when Keagan asked his usual, "Daddy, lay down", Matt was not inclined to adhere. Keagan has this multi-layer comforter that he matter what time of year it is.

Well, it's August. And a 3 year old's mind works a bit differently than a 27 year old's mind.

Matt kept telling him, "It's too hot." And Keagan just kept wailing louder and louder.

It's just a blanket, right?

Not really. Not to him.

See, to Keagan, not getting under the covers means something BIG, something devastating:

It means you're going to leave him.

And no matter how many times Matt whispered to him, "I'm not leaving; it's just hot under there", he never even heard. Because he was so brokenhearted and crushed.

Finally, Matt threw off the bulky winter blanket and climbed underneath the sheet with Keagan. He held him on his chest and told him it would be okay.

And the tears eventually stopped.

God is a father to us. God is a father to me. This is hard to remember for me, as I'm sure it is for others as well.

Do you have your own heavy blanket that you're asking, begging, God to climb underneath with you? Something He knows you don't need, but you're clinging to it anyway? Something that, if you would just let go of, He could comfort you more? Recently, I've been in a strange place emotionally and even spiritually. I feel brokenhearted some of the time, defeated, even crushed in spirit. I let the tiniest of details stress me out.

And I don't know exactly why.

All I know is how it feels. Just like all Keagan knew or could think about was how it felt to fear his daddy leaving him. And he couldn't understand that his daddy was right there. All the time. If he'd only have stopped crying and listened...he would've heard those comforting words.

I'm right here. I'm not leaving you.

And He never will.

Peace of Christ to you,


  1. yea, I'm glad that you opened your comments back up! this is sooo precious..and very real too. I love how God never fails to use our children to humble us and teach parents a lesson through them!

  2. I really love this girl:)
    " I'm right here, I'm not leaving you."
    I had written out to my friend a bible verse today, and it was crazy, because when I was reading the bible today, its so funny, because I clued in on a verse and was like, " Um, I'm not sure if this is the one she needs right now."
    UM WHAT? LOL. It turned out to be exactly the one she needed:) I love HIM so!
    Have a great day girlie:)